Ain't That a Kick in the Head?

I'm sorry, but I just have to say something about the debut of Sunday Night Football on NBC.

It felt fake.

There was John Madden in his pale yellow Hall-of-Fame jacket, all dressed up with -- let's face reality, people-- no authentic place to go. And there was Al Michaels trying desperately to pull the wool over America's eyes with a They-swore-this-peas-in-the-pod sportscasting-duo-would-help-a-copycat-show-pass-for-the-original, -they-did!-they-did! spiel.

I don't care what they call it, who they put on, or how closely they can replicate it and still not get sued for broadcast plagiarism. It ain't the real thing, baby. And frankly, ESPN's version won't be the real thing either, primarily because, Hello! It'll be aired on the wrong network.
Yes, we are talking Monday Night Football, the beloved, FREE American tradition that has now gone the way of the Edsell, the eight-track, and apparently, five-channel analog TV. (Yes, I am old enough to remember a time when there was only CBS, ABC, NBC, PBS and a pre-cable Fox, or was it technically UHF?)

Will it keep the theme song? Will each show still get a highly creative, water-cooler-caliber introduction? I'll never know, because I'm sticking with my five channels, thankyouverymuch. But I bet that transferring ownership of such a renowned staple can bode no good. Now, instead of one great show once a week, we'll get watered-down bits and pieces: a sportscasting legend here, an fX trick copied there, and no one show will be able to rise to the top.

Sure, we can still get a virtual glut of free football broadcast coverage on Sundays, but for so many of America's living rooms (especially my father's) to be dark on Monday nights ... It's just wrong. Besides, with gas prices already killing the family budget, this football-tax-in-disguise thing is so not cool.

If they can mess with Monday night, (and thereby, Sunday, too) what are they going to ruin next? Mom's apple pie?