On Headlines (Or how does Van Dussen do it?)

Ah, it's Tuesday!
Tuesday, when I am the lucky girl who gets to proof the movie page at the Messenger for the coming Sunday's Freestyle section. Little-known "secret": Sunday's Freestyle section is printed the Wednesday prior. Meaning, all proofing is done Tuesday and Wednesday. Meaning, I get to read Erich Van Dussen's review of the week several days before the rest of the world. Did I mention I was lucky?

Here's what I love about Erich, whether or not I always agree with his takes on any given flick.
Somewhere in that review, I know I am going to chuckle. If it's a low-number loser, I am guaranteed to laugh even more. And the man can write headlines with the best of 'em.

I mean, c'mon, you can't help but grin at a cheeky one like "Scum like it hot" (Miami Vice) or "Luke - Up in the Sky" (No. Not Superman Returns, but My Super Ex-Girlfriend).
And "Fear and clothing" (The Devil Wears Prada) gets an A-plus as my most recent personal favorite.

He's been writing reviews for our Sunday paper at least as long as I've worked there (nearly six years now) and even the cutlines (aka, captions) on the photos are hysterically creative.
"Matey, Matey Not" is the start of the description of the movie still featuring Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom for Pirates 2. Under a photo of the new Superman actor: "The sky's in love with you"
Face it. He can be downright punny.

I am completely jealous, of course, because I would love to be paid to watch movies, then write about them. Erich does so well, I've no hope of ever claiming his job, so I dream instead of replacing Richard Roeper. Seriously, doesn't "Roger and Rachel" just roll off the tongue?
The only problem with being a movie reviewer, as opposed to a simple movie buff, is that you have to watch so many bad films. Well, that and horror and/or slasher flicks. Breathe easy, Van Dussen. It'll never happen, because I don't do horror or gore.
My college townhouse mates can attest: I couldn't even stay in the kitchen and listen to "The Shining" play from the other side of the wall. Yes, that would mean both volumes of Kill Bill were definitely not on my list of must-see movies. I did manage to make it through The Sixth Sense, but only while every light in the room was on, friends and family were standing at the ready, finger on the remote, in case I needed them to fast-forward through something especially gruesome, and I was allowed to ask whatever question I wanted, at any given moment. (Good thing they had all seen it before.)
It was probably a sign when, as a fifth-grader, I had nightmares for a week that the Beast That Worked For the Nothing from the NeverEnding Story was hiding in my closet.

Yeah, me and horror/slasher flicks are just about as do-able a combo as me and roller coasters. If it weren't for the stomach-plunging, G-force gyrations and the absurd heights, I'd be fine.
But that's another blog for another day.
For now, I'll be content to remain a rabid reader of Erich's reviews (and headlines.) Especially when I get my own sneak peek on Tuesdays. :)